Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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