Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize