Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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