Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
