There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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