Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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