no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
