eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
