I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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