chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
