He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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