if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
