went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
