Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
