two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
