Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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