I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
