apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My breasts were aching with rage.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
