I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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