What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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