I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
