I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
