using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
