If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
