I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
