Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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