They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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