I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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