Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
