On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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