I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
