The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
