So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
