sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
