It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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