dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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