Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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