I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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