Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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