It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I have aggressive nipples.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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