Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
