I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
