just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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