I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
