It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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