Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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