am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
