i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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