I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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