1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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