I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I love having hate sex.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
